Monday, January 23, 2012

funny sarcastic quotes


My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew



You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown



Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson




Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni




Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis



Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw




Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane



Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

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  • Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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  • Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

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  • We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881


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