Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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