Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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