Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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