Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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