Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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