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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth



The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball



A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown




Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown




Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter



Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990




Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw



Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright

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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968